Thanks but NO thanks!

I know well-meaning so-called advices are simply..err.. well-meaning. But these unwanted advices often grates on my nerves and makes me want to rip out every strand of my hair or worse, threaten physical harm to the person who dispenses these advices as if they are the official superior being put on earth to help all humankind with their unwanted advices.

I don't know about all of you out there, but I find such irritating, annoying specimens a real pain in the you-know-where! The most irritating advices I get are those unsolicited ones and the more obviously 'Duh' ones such as 'Don't drink rat poison, it is dangerous' or 'Be careful when eating fish because you may choke on the bones'. Ok, so far, nobody advised me about the rat poison yet but so far, I do not yet have any inclination to down a glass of rat poison for fun. Unless of course I get plagued by too many of such irritating advices, I may be made to feel inclined towards ending my misery with creative uses of the rat poison. It's not my fault if the adviser in question decides not to follow his/her own advice.

Back to annoying advices and the 'supreme' advisers. Who the heck do they think they are with their unwanted, unsolicited, unappreciated, totally irritating 'words of annoyance'? Look, if I need any advice, I will ask for it. Please do not trouble your tiny little brain, which is incidentally full of annoying advices, to blurb out all the 'little gems' of yours to me.

The reasons are simple:

1) Unsolicited advices are exactly like unsolicited spam - it irritates the hell out of me and it makes me more inclined to strangle you than thank you.

2) Stupid advices given just because you thought you know it all - well, I have news for you! You DON'T know it all and shut up already!

3) Obvious advices given because you thought I have no common sense or you don't have any common sense and thought everyone is the same as you - Newsflash! You may be stupid enough think fish has no bones or rat poison is an equivalent to a martini, write it all down to remind yourself instead of spouting it out to everyone and anyone who would listen!

4) Annoying nerve-grating advices disguised as 'well-meaning' advices - all I can say is that thanks but NO THANKS. However well-meaning you thought your advice is, to me it is just an annoying interfering specimen poking its nose into where it doesn't belong.

My final say is if I need any advice I will ask for it so in the meantime, shut the heck up and let me deal with whatever it is in my own way!